I might Blog hop again

I finally made a Deviant art account. So I might just make my posts over there. Sigh. Moving again.

http://psychologicaldismay.deviantart.com/

Finally, it's over

We buried him today.

I just caught my father reading to my little sister. It's both sad and heart-warming. Anything can happen to us at any time, and we're realizing it more than we ever did. I remember his excuse back then--that he works 40+ hours a week and is too busy to help out with my sibs. I'm happy to see him spend time with his kids.

He made me everything that I am today.

You really don't expect this to ever happen in your family. I'm too much in shock...tomorrow it might hit me hard. Emotions always seem to take a while.

Finally...!

I'm enjoying The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy! Finally it's a book I cannot predict the outcome, for once! I have no idea where it's going... and that's the way I like it!

I think 1 more visit to Borders should do the trick. I felt really happy drawing Atsuko-chan, and I felt an inkling of spunk to take out the legal note and ink-pen out of my bag. (But I didn't.) Drat! 1 more time, tomorrow!

I bought a Pita-Ten artbook. It's so pretty and shiny.

Interesting dinner.

Yeah.

My dad and I fight over a lot of stuff over the dinner table. We never really "fight," just argue. Usually it's politics or law because it seems either the news, "Cops," or "America's Most Wanted" is on air. (During lunch-time it was the "People's Court" or "Judge Judy." XD)

Other times it's "America's Funniest Home videos," but we don't talk when that's on--we're too busy laughing our asses off. In between the arguments, I talk about stuff. Now that I think about it, I'm unusually open with my parents. But then again, they do ask questions about the people around me...

A couple days ago I told them that Durran would finally be able to go to Japan and all that good stuff, and then I went on with other stuff. Then today, I told my parents to not yell at me because I don't think I'll be able to go to Korea like they said. Now that I look back, I wish I could've done even more for my essay. Yeah, I spent a few weeks working on it, but it's total crap. I should've put more detail into my motives. They got mad, but not as mad as I expected. Then silence as we continued eating.

Then my Dad mentioned Durran with his usual "that boy" title, since he doesn't really know any other guy friends I have, so it could only mean him. He said I should try going for the same thing he's doing. I was like, "You want me to go to Japan?!" He shrugged and was like, "well, yeah..."

I told him it was impractical, and that by the time I could apply, graduation would be drawing near. Also, this dude in charge of the exchange program back at UIC told me that I wouldn't be able to take useful classes since I was finished with my general studies, plus the fact I was an english major. It'll probably be the same thing at SIUC.

But...so weird! My parents never really liked it when I mention anything about Japan or whatever. They don't hate them; I think it's more foolish pride than anything.

Wonder why they want me out of the country so much, lol. They want me back, and now they want me away. I know they're looking about for my own good though.

Unrelated news...uhh. I got a shot today...hurt like hell. The Kenshin Kaden book came in the mail today. So happy--it's pretty. Still waiting for my Tsubasa Chronicles artbook to come...

Yeah. Still trying to pull through. I feel so locked in place.

Hikaru-kun's very restless...

I really don't know what to do.

I know what's the problem. I'm scared. I really don't want to see all the mistakes coming from my hand. But this hiatus is going much longer than it should. I'm still drawing, and at least I still feel motivated to do so--but it's already past the season. I should be working on the project. I feel horrible knowing that the time is close and yet I'm doing nothing about it.

I wish I could go out--but with gas so high, I can't. And I never could work on the project in my bedroom. I have to work where people meander about. Groan. I'm sorry Hikaru-kun. Atsuko-chan. I fail.

I walk into Best Buy...

...with the intention of spending only $5.

I exited with $53 less than I had before. X_X

I walk into Barnes and Noble with the intention of spending absolutely nothing...and I exited with another $10 less than I had before. XP

Going on a shopping spree...

Dunno what to buy...

But who cares! I think I wanna take Hikaru-kun with me to Barnes and Noble...wish I could go to Fairview Heights...well. Why not drive to Fairview? If I pack a lunch...I can sacrifice the money for food for gas instead...

I also need some time driving by myself. That does it then! I'm going to Fairview tomorrow! (Er...today, since it's morning) I'll wake up at noon and then head off. Go to the park first. Then Borders. Then mebbe the mall. And then...drive back when it gets dark. I might as well bring a pack of turkey and cheese in a mini-cooler with bread to last the entire day. Oooh...and I can bring a blanket too, and take some picnic shots of Hikaru-kun.

I...really need to get out of the house. Bad. I miss the city.

THERE'S NOTHING GOOD TO READ...!

I'm goin' outta my mind!

*GROAN* It's the same-thing-over...and OVER again! I dun wanna read the same storyline ten times over!!!

Great. Reading's usually my escape from this God-forbidden hick town--and it's not doing it's job! Gas is too high and can't drive anywhere...I can't even ride my bike anymore since the only road nearby is a busy highway...*GROAN* I miss Chicago.

I still have no internets.

I don'tfeel withdrawals as bad as I thought Iwould.

I'vebeen drawing. Photoshop 7 isn'tbad, but I miss cs3. TT.TT I've been sewing--almost finished putting together a pair of jeans for Hikaru-kun which he'll neverwear. Watched alot of Kenshin today. I really wanna read, but there hasn't beena singlebook that's hitthe spot forquite a while. Too high expectations or just bored with all the genres nowadays. Sigh.

IwishIcouldwritedownallthegoodstuff htat happened atACEN...

...but I dunwanna.

BluescreenofDeath. Mycomputer went boom onmyfirstmorning of ACEN. Nowusing Old man's compy with horrible keyboard and brokenspace bar. Will update oncemy compy gets the internets.

If

If, for some reason, something happens to me over ACEN weekend...

Mom--read my red diary from Staples, then show it to whoever you feel needs to read it.
Burn my sketchbooks--all of them. In other words, make Hikaru, Atsuko, and the others disappear. Don't understand? Ask my friends.
As for Hikaru-kun and Atsuko-chan--I leave them to you, Okaasan. (But wait...Hikaru-kun's gonna be with me. If I get hit by a train, or blow up from a pipe bomb thrown at me...well. Okay, if he doesn't survive, then this only concerns little Atsuko-chan. ^^)
Mmm. Beth--you can take all the DVDs I own. Durran-kun--you can take anything that's Kenshin or Inuyasha related...mebbe my sword as well, and my shinai and my bokken. Chris-kun--you can take my Super Mario Galaxy Christmas stocking, as well as any games you want, though you probably already own all of 'em. lol.

Ee-to. I guess Derreck-kun can take my Full Metal Alchemist artbooks, and Edward Elric plushie and figurine. And Ian, you can have my computer! The best of them all! (Dunno how the hell it's gonna get to you though. X_X)

Oh yeah, Grace--you can keep Sai.

All this makes me sad. :( I guess pray that I make it back home safe and sound, right?
But what if one of you hires Shelly de Killer to silence me--just to get my stuff?! O_O Nuuu! *cries*

SQUUUUAAAAWWK!!!

I CAN'T WAIT!! MY BELOVED DEALERS ROOM---I'LL BE THERE SOON!! HAI!! IKIMASSHO, HIKARU-KUN!!!

(Atsuko-chan, you stay home--you're too expensive.)

Counting Money!

I want to get a girl for Hikaru-kun...but...

There's a few artbooks I wanna buy (and they ain't cheap)--like Clamp's Code Geass artbook, because I have a similar art style. I almost bought a Chobits artbook, but it only had pictures of Chi and Freya. :S

I have ACEN to worry about, and I'm gonna try my damn hardest to restrict my spendin' to $150 dollars, including food and hotel. Or...I could bring ramen for the whole weekend like I did a couple years ago. Though I really don't know what I want to buy in the dealers room this year. I've bought all the plushies I've ever wanted. I'm gonna buy some cheap Kenshin manga despite the fact that I've read the whole series, and own the pdfs on me compy. I'm gonna see if people are sellin' doll clothes, and maybe this year I'll actually buy some art in the artists alley. Oki-doki Toki-doki. $150.

Then...I guess I can count in Sandra for now. Depending who I order from, she'll cost me $405. If I order her from ebay, I can get free shoes and cheaper shipping, but I won't be able to choose her eye color and I think they're gonna give me a fur wig. :X There's another seller who lets me choose the eye color, and I've already mentioned the free face-up and I love the face-up artist's style, HOWEVER, her shipping costs are freakin' ridiculous. Also, if I ask for the free face up, I won't get free shoes. But the ebay seller puts too much pinkie blush on them...I don't like it...
Ok. $405.

Then...there's the new TV. Me and Durran-kun (if he can help me) are gonna go look for one this Thursday. There's a TV near my room, but it's too big to put on my desk. Besides...if I took that TV, me sistah would sneak into my room and play my vidja games in the middle of the night. X_X I really...really...REALLY dun wanna pay more than $250. If not that...I rather pay for a home theatre system since I listen to music during 90% of my waking life. Ok. $250.

.....$805. o_o.....
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHhhhHHHH.....! >_<

OMFG!!!!!

http://hk.geocities.com/layla_mi/bgdoll/bgsandra.html

FREE FACE UP!!! FREE FACE UP!!! AS SOON AS I GET MY CHECK, SANDRA IS MINE!!!!!

Me Momma is so barbaric!! D:

You heard me!

She stole 14 turkey eggs from a turkey nest!!! D: Apparently this happened when she was out mushroom huntin', and she nearly stepped on a Momma turkey in it's nest. Her excuse for taking the eggs?

"Da turkey scared me! So I said, 'You scared me, so I'm takin' yer babies!!!!!'"

I was like, "Momma...! You're so mean!" >_<














And yet...I was laughin' me ass off in the inside. XD They're were too pretty to eat...but I did eventually fry one of them. It was very yummy. :)

I forced Hikaru-kun into the picture. He wouldn't admit it--but I know he was curious.
Hikaru: ...I'm not even gonna ask.

























And while I had my camera, and him in my grasp--I took him out for a brief photoshoot.

Hikaru: Just take the damn picture, already.
Me: Why are you always so grumpy? :(
I better not exhaust my batteries too far. There's still ACEN around da corna'. I wanna take a whole buncha pics of Hikaru-kun meeting the other dollies. ^^

Hikaru: Aww, f***.

I'm Home.

And I dunno how I did it.

Somehow--SOMEHOW--SOMEHOW...I managed to fit a whole dorm room full of crap into two suitcases! But then the train people bitched at me when I arrived--and yet I don't feel bad, that I don't. When I boarded my train, this old conductor guy told me I had too much stuff. I said, "then kick me out." He said something along the lines of him not having the power to do so because what I was doing wasn't exactly an offense. Then I was like--wtf? What's the point of policies without consequences?! And they can't fine me--he never asked for a name, and if he did, I would've either lied or refused to show ID. I'm pretty good at following the rules--but at times when I need to be selfish (like last night), I'm putting myself first--especially if there's no consequences for not following the rules. I can handle an old man screaming at my face. 'Dat ain't no consequence.

Yeah, I told him as soon as I boarded off the train that I won't abide to the guidelines unless they fixed the policies--and hell he was pissed, but what can he do?

"Let's put the past behind us, shall we?" Moving on, I've fitted Hikaru-kun into his new snazzy threads. I can't wait to take him to his first anime convention! ^^ Last night, I just got the idea to dress up Atsuko-chan into a Trucy Wright outfit, since my cosplay this year is Hobo Phoenix Wright...but I don't think I have the time to make it. It's this upcoming weekend...! :(

It's Final

I'm gonna do it--I'm gonna try to start that Earthbound webcomic I've always wanted to do. I've already started basic sketches of my versions of the foursome.

EDIT:Wow--to think I can draw with basic figures...and it's okay for once. Earthbound's meant to be kawaii anyway...at least to me, that it does. ^^

More and more I ponder...

My mom suggested me something I never thought she would ever ask.

She suggested that I graduate a year late. O_o. Though, the reason is pretty sensible, but still--it's the last thing I would ever believe she'll say. She wants me to go to Korea and be a tutor this upcoming year, instead of school. Apparently there's this program-thing and they're asking english-speakers to go over to the small towns, because too many tutors seem to be going over to the big cities. If they say I qualify, then they'll pay my round-trip tickets, my rent, and on top of that, pay me a nice salary--forgot the numbers, but it was pretty high. I just might do it. If I'm gonna be alone the rest of my life, I better learn Korean now. My only family's way over there. :(

Makes me wonder, if my mom's suggesting this in order to prolong my stay at home. I know agreeing with this english-teaching thing would take me away from home, but then I would have to come back and finish school--maybe this means I can take it easy. I mean, not have to cram so many classes into one semester.

I think she misses me. I miss her too.

Oro....

I have a 7 page paper due in less than 8 hours....I've done no research whatsoever...and I still have yet to do japanese and non-fiction homework. Sigh. And right now, other than typing on here, I'm drawing on photoshop with my tablet. You were right, Chris. You should've taken the tablet away from me when you had the chance! X_X

Nya again

There are some people who really stop at nothing to annoy me, eh?

I'm in for one hell of a night, that I am. I'm just now finding material on "Adam Bede" to write about tonight. X_X I've pretty much given up on this class. I've had worse--like that Literary theory class--so thought I earned an F; no I got a C. For some reason I really don't feel any fear for this class. I might say something totally different, though, tonight. XD

Well. Newsflash! I'm gonna (try to) be a lolita next year, and the year after that, and the year after that! Grace showed me some cute things, and kelly sent me the links. They're not badly priced either--I was expecting a lot more. o_o. I have a whole year to save up, though I could go on and buy them over the summer...because somebody on the den forums is interested in buying my little Atsuko for more than what I paid for. :3 I do love Atsuko...but the price she offered is so tempting...I could make a huge profit! Also, seeing that I have my sights on Tanya-chan too...I might go on with it. I told her that I would think about it, and it's not like I could carry on the transaction right now. Atsuko-chan's at home, and I'm six hours away from home.

Anyway, lolita. I'm very curious, that I am. They're so pretty. Ooh. What would I do to be a lolita this halloween? Not many people in the south know about this style...>:D

....That's it...

I'M DEFINITELY GOING BACK!

I'm always better at charging forward than thinking about it. If I go for it, and fail--there are people to comfort me.

Nya.

It feels so weird using a normal pencil, now. On a sidenote, I'm getting better with the tablet!

Wahhh!!! I'm a Rurouni, that I am!!! TT.TT

Will I never find a home?

Here's hoping that this place will last me. Thank you, Chris-kun for the head's up.

I never thought I would use this place, actually. I don't like Myspace, so it's my best bet so far. At least by blog-jumping I can seclude into hiding--a ninja, that I am! (Gah, Kenshin...your slang is getting into me, that it is---doh!!!)

Eh, ok. Typical post. Highlights of the weekend:

• Worked on Hikaru! Hikaru! Hikaru! Picture (Finished)
  
• Worked on Hikaru Loves Tanya Picture (Tweaking stage)
• Went to see Chris-kun and had dinner, while Hikaru-kun took a nap in his dorm room, and later on in my backpack.

Yeah. Had no life this weekend. Spent 8 hours on the Hikaru! Picture, and then 16+ hours on the Hikaru Loves Tanya. I wanna make a little portfolio one of these days. ^^ Just like those binder things I see the artists have at ACEN. I'll need to get my hands on a nice printer, that I do. >_>

I feel like I need to take a walk--too much on my mind, and I wish I could just type my thoughts out incomprehensibly...but I can't exactly pour out pure emotion without directly pointing out the problem outright--and I don't want to.